The Statue of Limitations

The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill is all abuzz with both pride and rage this week, in the aftermath of a student demonstration that led to the toppling of a bronze Confederate statue that has stood on campus for the past 105 years. The statue, nicknamed ‘Silent Sam,’ shows a Confederate soldier bravely looking off into the distance, with a plaque at the base of the statue listing some of the local men who went to the war and never came back.

The University president, while admitting the statue was offensive to modern sensibilities, called the student’s action ‘vandalism,’ condemning it out of hand. The campus is now split in two, with one group of faculty and students applauding the destruction of the statue, and another group up in arms about this ‘desecration’ of North Carolina’s past. From the blasts each group is hurling at the other it looks like no studying or learning is going to take place on campus for the foreseeable future. Oh well, the place was always known as a Party School anyways.

The incident should serve as a warning to parents who have live at home college students. They should keep a sharp eye out for any oversize bronze horses, soldiers, griffons, dragons, and other extremely heavy and nearly immovable objects  that their children may try to bring into the house and hide under the bed so they can offer it on eBay. Wise parents will keep a metal detector handy, just in case.